


DAVE SMASHES STRADIVARIUS ONTO KARKAT FACE

by itsrose



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chair Bondage, Doomed Timelines, M/M, Meteorstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23573488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsrose/pseuds/itsrose
Summary: Dave Strider breaks violins over Karkat's face. Rose stumbles in.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 15
Kudos: 56





	DAVE SMASHES STRADIVARIUS ONTO KARKAT FACE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [itsdave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsdave/gifts).



DAVE: BAM  
DAVE: KAPOW  
KARKAT: UNF.  
DAVE: aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
DAVE: BOOOOOOM  
KARKAT: WAHH!!  
KARKAT: JUST A SECOND. WHEW.  
ROSE: Woah. What's this?  
DAVE: oh hey  
DAVE: sup  
ROSE: Why do you have a pile of copies of my violin next to a Karkat with a bruised and splintered face tied consentually to a chair next to a pile of broken violins  
DAVE: i dunno but check this out  
DAVE: whhhhuuuuuuUUUPPOW  
KARKAT: KUFFAW!  
DAVE: ahahahahahaha  
ROSE: Wow!  
DAVE: hahahaha  
DAVE: hold on  
DAVE: check this who am i  
KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW. WHAT ARE YOU POINTING AT?  
KARKAT: I CAN'T TURN MY HEAD.  
ROSE: He's Babe Ruth.  
ROSE: Pointing to the stands.  
KARKAT: IS THAT LIKE TROLL BABE RUTH?  
DAVE: yeah im troll babe ruth thats right  
DAVE: troll babe ruth gonna hit a troll home run right through the bleachers and outta the troll PARK tonight  
DAVE: its been a wild ride tonight in the latest game of troll baseball but THIS troll human isnt gonna take that as a troll excuse to relax  
DAVE: hes just gettin troll started  
DAVE: the troll bases are troll loaded and hes about to take em all troll hive home with a troll grand SLAM  
DAVE: hes parkin his human scuttlebuggy in the human parking lot of human dennys  
DAVE: hes goin in and just goin to troll TOWN on that four troll dollar breakfast  
DAVE: BAM  
KARKAT: MFFF!  
KARKAT: FUCK!!  
DAVE: ahhhh hahahahah  
ROSE: Wow. Yeah, I can see the appeal here.  
ROSE: This is fine with you, Karkat?  
KARKAT: YEAH IT'S FINE.  
KARKAT: *PTTOOO*  
ROSE: Are you okay? Was that a tooth?  
KARKAT: YEAH I'M FINE. THAT'LL GROW BACK.  
DAVE: cmon you know trolls are survival machines  
DAVE: theyre unstoppable  
DAVE: they cannot be taken down by anything except their own impotent rage  
KARKAT: HE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.  
ROSE: Huh.  
ROSE: Well.  
ROSE: This is still a little surprising.  
DAVE: yeah im not a violent guy but i just love smashing these violins in his face  
ROSE: No kidding.  
DAVE: WHAM  
KARKAT: AAGHHH  
DAVE: ahahahahaha  
ROSE: Is this ironic?  
DAVE: yeah its ironic everything is ironic these days  
DAVE: i know you know im smashing karkat in the face  
DAVE: and i love it  
DAVE: but i also am doing it ironically and maybe i love it ironically who knows  
DAVE: actually i change my mind irony is a load of horses ass  
DAVE: im loving this sincerely  
DAVE: im cashing in all the irony stuff im out for good  
DAVE: now all i do is swing fiddles by the neck and blast them into this stupid head right here  
DAVE: if you want a vision of the future imagine a violin smashing onto a karkat face  
DAVE: forever  
ROSE: Are you giving up irony ironically?  
DAVE: rose seriously i dont have time for this  
DAVE: this is karkat  
DAVE: this is karkat *vantas*  
DAVE: every second that his face isnt being used to break down stringed instruments into a fine powder osama bin laden wins  
ROSE: I wouldn't want that.  
ROSE: I wouldn't want Osama bin Laden to win.  
KARKAT: IS THAT LIKE TROLL OSAMA BIN LADEN?  
DAVE: karkat  
DAVE: im only going to say this once  
DAVE: ok  
KARKAT: OKAY.  
DAVE: alright  
KARKAT: I'M LISTENI-  
DAVE: BLAMMOOO  
KARKAT: BFFFNNGT  
DAVE: hahhahahahahahahaha  



End file.
